Wimpy Villager 14: Trash the Dungeon (Part I) Read online

  Wimpy Villager

  Book 14

  Trash the Dungeon: Part I

  Copyright 2017 Cube Kid

  All rights reserved.

  This ebook is an original work of fiction. It is not official. It is not authorized, endorsed, sponsored, supported or licensed by Mojang AB, Microsoft Corp. or any entity owning or controlling any rights to the Minecraft name, trademarks or copyrights. Minecraft and its related game characters and names are trademarks of Mojang AB.

  Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2017 Mojang / Notch

  This is a real Cube Kid book, not a fake. You can check my Facebook page to confirm, at:

  facebook.com/kidmadeofcubes

  DAY 8—SATURDAY—UPDATE II

  I learned some things about dungeons today.

  Before, I'd always thought they were single rooms with a handful of monsters and one or two treasure chests.

  After all, that's what our teachers said. And then, every book I'd ever read on the subject had said the same exact thing. So imagine my surprise upon actually standing before one. Imagine it.

  I'll be honest: I was terrified.

  The little skull next to the doors was a nice touch. It had glowing red eyes.

  I turned to Breeze. "Judging by the looks of this place, this must be the home of a giant wither skeleton. Huh. Neat." A pause. "How about we just forfeit this quest? Return to that blacksmith and be like sorry, we couldn't find your glowmoss?"

  "And maybe he'll send us on another quest," Breeze said. "A pumpkin pie eating contest, perhaps?"

  I smiled. "What's this? Breeze joking around? Now that's what I like to see!"

  She smiled, too, although it quickly faded. All business. "You said this place is protected somehow?" she asked.

  "That's what that one guy told me. Think of it as a biome-wide enchantment that prevents the mining of blocks and the placement of activators. Actually, the placement of everything."

  "If you don't mind, I'd like to see this for myself." Within moments, Breeze crafted a wooden button. When she tried placing it against the bedrock to the left of the door, it fell to the ground, as if it had been dropped. It had failed to cling to the wall the way buttons always do. This was, of course———

  ". . . impossible," Breeze said. With a look of utter disbelief, she tried placing the button against the dirt with the same result. "What in the Overworld . . . ?"

  I was wielding my stone pickaxe at this point, and swung at those doors with everything I had. One swing, two. On the tenth, my pick flashed red . . . and shattered, crumbling into little gray cubes before my very eyes. (There was also a sad little sizzling sound: p'tweeeeeuu . . .) What's interesting here is that my pickaxe had almost full durability. It had gone from approximately 95% to zero in an instant.

  I glanced at the single brown cube in my hand (which had once been part of the handle). "The Nether?!"

  When Breeze tried digging with her iron shovel, she accomplished the very same thing. That is to say, she accomplished nothing. After her shovel flashed red and crumbled, she stared down at the iron cubes at her feet, thoroughly unimpressed. "Hurmmph!" It was the first time I'd ever heard her make that sound, a sound villagers often make when annoyed.

  Indeed, what we were currently experiencing . . . it was simply unbelievable.

  No matter what, a button always stuck to whatever surface you placed it against, and a shovel always mined dirt in a very short time, but here . . . well, let's just say we didn't go chopping at some grass with our swords to see what might happen. We knew, okay?!

  "So how far does this extend?" Breeze asked. "The enchantment, I mean. Is it really biome-wide?"

  "I think so," I said. "Any biome that contains a dungeon can't be modified at all. Otherwise, trolls and griefers could put up obsidian walls, TNT traps, monster spawners, lava moats . . . apparently the Builders didn't want anyone messing with their creations."

  "Got it."

  A huge problem, then—the enderman in the room, really, or, more appropriately, the iron golem in the room—immediately sat before us. As we couldn't place or mine anything within this biome, the following was true:

  ① Without beds, sleeping would be difficult.

  ② Old tricks involving the terrain—such as emergency shelters, dirt pillars—were not an option.

  ③ The most pressing issue was something I hadn't yet thought of. Breeze had, though. She tried placing some fence. As expected, the single fence post, instead of securing itself to the ground, fell over.

  "So what are we going to do about Shybiss?" she asked.

  Ah, yes. Without any fence, she couldn't tie up her horse. If we left Shybiss out here, she could pull a Meadow on us and take off.

  I was so close to hurgging. So close. Eto had mentioned this in the armor shop, but I never really thought about what kind of problems it would cause. I almost suggested we bring Shybiss into the dungeon with us, but I knew how Breeze would have responded to that.

  Luckily, she 's way smarter than I am. She decided to walk around the dungeon and check things out. Guess what was back there? Is your answer some fence posts? Well, you're correct! Congrats, you've won 1,000,000 emeralds and a stuffed Urg the Barbarian doll!

  Whoever those Builders were, they were very considerate of us adventurers. They left behind some fence posts for people to tie horses to. They forgot the beds, though, and the cauldron full of rabbit stew . . .

  "Well, that's one problem solved," she said. "But whose horses are those?"

  "Other adventurers, I guess? Who knows, maybe we'll run into them and we can group up." I showed Breeze the obsidian key. "Ready?"

  Regarding Breeze's response, I could write something mundane here, like:

  She nodded. "I'm ready," she said.

  But even though I'm barely an adult, I'm trying to be a better writer. She nodded?! How boring is that?! That doesn't live up to my quality standards! Let's cross that one out!

  She nodded. "I'm ready," she said.

  Boom! Away with you, boring description of Breeze! And now for something a little more interesting, such as . . .

  I didn't have to ask if she was ready. Her expression said that she was ready to go in there and drop zombies until her profession was no longer warrior but zombie farmer, until so many dropped items littered the ground that the items actually spilled out like water, until that place was no longer known as The Tomb of the Forgotten King but Item Mountain. Not only that, but until so many experience orbs were swirling through the sky above that explorers five biomes away actually got lost because they mistook those orbs for the sun. (Assuming they don't have a compass, and use the sun for direction.)

  As we descended the steps, Breeze had that dark look on her face again. The same look as when we were at that temple.

  I really don't know what that's about. My instincts say she knows something but doesn't want to tell me. Why is she always being so secretive . . . ?

  Well, she must have a good reason, right? She wouldn't keep information from me without one. Anyway, I definitely have to ask her about this. When the time is right.

  DAY 8—SATURDAY—UPDATE III

  The hall below was three blocks wide, and mostly the same as the surface room: obsidian under bedrock. The walls had these . . . alcoves, I guess. They held what looked like flower pots, but they weren't flowers pot at all. They contained a gray, gunpowder-like material.

  "Are those ashes?" Breeze asked.

  "Looks like it. As if this place isn't creepy enough."

  We had no idea what to expect, so I went in front, my shield raised, sword readied. Breeze trailed behind several blocks, her enchanted bow drawn.

&nbs
p; That was when I heard a scraping sound coming from the hallway to the right. Moments later, a zombie shambled around the corner.

  There's no point in describing this battle in any detail. You know how it played out. Two arrows and a diamond sword later, the zombie went down. Smoke. Experience orbs. A stone sword, five or so swings from breaking. Leather armor in worse condition. But here's the thing. It dropped six emeralds as well.

  I glanced at Breeze. She glanced at me. Silence. The squeak of a bat.

  "So every time we kill something in here," she said, "it drops emeralds? Is that how it works?"

  "I'm not sure." I looked down at the pile of items. "Eto said the monsters didn't drop too many. But maybe six isn't too many to him."

  More scraping could be heard from around the corner. Another zombie, with a sword, shield and full suit of armor, all crafted of gold. We took that one down like the last, without too much effort. And like the last, this one dropped every item it carried, the golden breastplate being enchanted with Protection II . . . along with five emeralds.

  We exchanged glances again, glanced at the pile. More sounds came from around the corner. Three zombies maybe, maybe four, five, six possibly, no, at least seven. Well, no, that's way too much noise. Definitely eight or nine.

  We glanced at each other a third time.

  It was our first time in a dungeon. What we knew about such places came from outdated books written hundreds of years ago; books written by villager librarians who had never even set foot into the Overworld. Even so, after seeing the gemstones scattered across the floor . . .

  DAY 8—SATURDAY—UPDATE IV

  After that small battle, the only direction left to go was forward.

  The problem was, there was another iron door standing in our way. The key didn't work on this one. We had to find a way to open it.

  We couldn't find anything, though. We searched everywhere, and couldn't see any buttons, levers or pressure plates. Before long, I was pressing on random blocks, thinking there could be a secret button somewhere.

  Breeze tried pulling on all the torches to no avail, hoping one of them was a lever in disguise. Nothing.

  Right then, I was about to hurgg. I didn't, though. I managed to stay calm. My mind was like a diamond, clear and sharp, unbreakable and—anyway, I noticed something different about the alcove to the right of the door. It had a small 1x1 shaft which apparently led down.

  At the bottom of the shaft was a golden pressure plate; a line of redstone was connected to this activator, and it most likely linked to the door. All we had to do was drop an item on it and the door would open.

  So Breeze tossed in a beat up leather helmet. Nothing happened.

  "That's weird," she said. "I thought you could activate pressure plates with items?"

  "I thought so, too. Huh." I kept staring at the golden tile, thinking back to what little we'd learned in school regarding them. "Wait, aren't golden pressure plates special somehow?"

  Breeze shrugged. "I don't know anything about redstone, remember? If only Lola were here . . ."

  At the mention of Lola, I suddenly recalled this time when she was talking about pressure plates with Max. "I remember her saying something about iron pressure plates," I said. "Something about how they're heavier? Or heavy?"

  "Okay, so iron is heavy, but so is gold."

  "Right, I don't know what she meant by that. Wait." I was starting to remember something. "Wait." At the sound of this word, it hit me: "Weight!"

  Golden pressure plates are of a weighted variety. The weight of the items on top of it directly affect its signal strength. A single item would only send out redstone power for maybe a block.

  I explained this to Breeze, then tossed in a pair of leather leggings. Still nothing. An iron breastplate with Protection I and Breaking III. A wooden sword, a stone sword. A pair of leather boots. An egg. A daisy. Finally, a handful of seeds. (Don't ask.)

  But the door still didn't open.

  "Well, the redstone line could extend for quite a ways under the floor," Breeze said. "Maybe we just need to throw more stuff in?"

  So we did, throwing pretty much everything we'd looted from those zombies earlier. Plus an egg, a daisy. Oh, and a handful of seeds. (Don't ask.) That was when I hear a click to my left. The door finally opened.

  DAY 8—SATURDAY—UPDATE IV

  We took down another group of zombies, along with some skeletons.

  We fought perfectly. We timed our swings so nothing could get close. And when the last skeleton fired at Breeze, I dashed in front of her with my shield raised . . .

  Beyond emeralds and the usual trash-tier items, one dropped an obsidian sword. I'd never seen an obsidian sword, and was shocked to learn that its damage is actually one less than diamond. And with half the durability. Still, it's way better than anything else we've found so far.

  Whenever the situation calls for it, I'll swap my shield out and begin dual wielding. According to Breeze, the Defender enchantment increases the wielder's armor by its power level. Kind of like a mini shield. So I'll still have better than normal defense wielding it in my offhand. As for the pink handguard, or whatever it's called, I'm not sure what that's about. Breeze thinks it could be a type of material known as coral, but that's just a guess. (Can the more advanced swords be made with three or more different materials?)

  DAY 8—SATURDAY—UPDATE V

  We encountered another so-called puzzle. Another pressure plate.

  It was situated at the end of a horizontal shaft, or tunnel, so there was no way we could drop any items onto it.

  Do you know how we managed to activate it? Think about it for a second. I'll count to five, and by the time I'm done counting, you need to come up with the answer.

  Ready? Here we go. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. All right, how did we manage to activate that pressure plate? Is your answer 'Runt drank a potion of Shrinking II to become one block tall so he could walk down the tunnel?'

  Wrong! First off all, what kind of noob do you take me for?! There is no such thing as a Shrinking potion! (At least, not to my knowledge. Item scholars, you're free to correct me if I'm wrong.) In truth, the answer was far simpler.

  Here we go.

  Are you ready for the answer?

  Let's test your knowledge. Okay, the answer is . . .

  (If you didn't come up with an answer, and are still thinking, please don't read any more. Unless you give up, I mean. And no cheating; none of this reading the answer and then going: Aha! Yeah! That was my answer!)

  Okay. Anyway. The answer is arrows.

  On a golden pressure plate, a single arrow has enough weight to send a redstone signal out one block. Since a repeater was placed next to the plate, boom, the door was opened. Of course, Breeze is the one who handled this. She said she should be the one, so we wouldn't waste resources, whatever that means . . .

  Wait. Was she suggesting that I'm a bad shot?! She was, wasn't she?! That's it! I have a bow, too, you know! One of those skeletons dropped one. Okay, so it might be two or three shots away from breaking, but that's enough for me to hit that pressure plate myself and show her who's boss. Hold on, I'll update in a second. Gonna take my time with this, hold my breath, aim carefully . . .

  DAY 8—SATURDAY—UPDATE VI

  Okay, clearly that bow had problems. My aim was dead on. By the way, note the use of had. Yes, the bowstring snapped on the 8th shot.

  DAY 8—SATURDAY—UPDATE VII

  The next room was . . . um . . . interesting.

  It was a long hall with a spruce door on the end. Oh. And the obsidian floor was covered with more of those golden pressure plates.

  It's the color scheme! Those gold tiles simply do not go with this dungeon's gloomy aesthetic! I might even go so far as to say it clashes, if I dared to use such a strong word! (Just kidding. I knew it was a trap, okay?)

  "I know what this is," I said to Breeze. "It's one of those arrow rooms. You step in the wrong spot, and arrows fly everywhere." I said this pr
oudly. "Yeah, that's what this is. Urg the Barbarian had to circumvent one of these things in the last book. It looked similar to this."

  "Well, if this is an arrow trap," she said, "shouldn't there be some of those face things in the wall?"

  "Face things? You mean dispensers?"

  "I think so?"

  I'm pretty sure that's what she was talking about. A dispenser is a block that can hold other items, and it releases them upon activation. Anyway, she was right. If this room was some kind of arrow trap, it would have had dispensers in the walls. But the walls here were just bedrock. Could it be?! Was it possible that the Builders used some ancient, mystical technique to create dispensers that looked like bedrock?! No. Not really. It was just normal bedrock.

  Standing in the doorway, Breeze moved up to the very edge. "I think it's the ceiling," she said. "It's much lower than the other rooms and it's made of cobblestone. Until now, we've never seen any cobblestone . . ."

  Nodding, I retrieved a handful of seeds from my inventory. "Let's find out, shall we?" And I tossed the seeds onto the pressure plate directly in front of the doorway, like I was feeding chickens or something. Nothing happened, however. I mean, the pressure plate sank down, sure, and the seeds clearly activated it, yes, but nothing resulted from that activation.

  "Try further out," she said.

  So I gathered the seeds and tossed them two blocks from the door.

  Again, this pressure plate sank in . . and suddenly, the entire ceiling flew down with a deafening crash—the sound of over fifty sticky pistons firing all at once.

  Totally afraid, I flew back, into Breeze, knocking both of us to the ground.