Tales of an 8-Bit Kitten Read online

  This edition © 2018 by Andrews McMeel Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

  Published in French under the title Un Chaton Qui S’est Perdu dans le Nether © 2017 by 404 éditions, an imprint of Édi8, Paris, France Text © 2015 by Cube Kid, Illustration © 2016 by Vladimir “ZloyXP” Subbotin

  Minecraft is a Notch Development AB registered trademark. This book is a work of fiction and not an official Minecraft product, nor approved by or associated with Mojang. The other names, characters, places, and plots are either imagined by the author or used fictitiously.

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  ISBN: 978-1-4494-9974-7

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  In memory of Lola Salines (1986–2015),

  founder of 404 éditions and editor of this series,

  who lost her life in the November 2015 attacks on Paris.

  Thank you for believing in me.

  —Cube Kid

  Eeebs was a naughty little kitten. Very naughty, in fact. He never listened to his mother.

  She always told him: “Don’t go too far into the forest, Son. It’s dangerous. And if you ever see a purple light … run away. Run as fast as you can.”

  But Eeebs loved exploring the woods. He didn’t think the forest was dangerous at all. No, it was an interesting place. Interesting and mysterious. He went there at least once a week—like today—along with his closest friends, Tufty and Meowz. The three of them had found a new meadow to play in. The meadow was filled with all kinds of beautiful flowers. They were racing to see who could pick the most.

  Eeebs watched Meowz and Tufty fight over a lovely blue orchid. At last, Meowz tripped Tufty, who went tumbling into the grass. Then, she hurried to pick the orchid before he could get back up.

  “Hey!” Tufty hissed. “Not fair!”

  “Well, you never said no tripping,” she said.

  Tufty only flattened his ears and glared at her.

  She presented her colorful collection, fanned out like a rainbow. “Look at all these flowers,” she said, beaming like the square sun. “I guess that means I win, huh?”

  “Whatever,” said Tufty. He threw his clump of dandelions onto the ground. “It was a stupid game, anyway.”

  “I agree,” said Eeebs. “I’m bored. Maybe we should just head back?”

  “You can’t be serious,” said Meowz.

  Tufty stepped forward. “We’re not gonna get caught again, okay?”

  “I know,” said Eeebs. “But—”

  “Look,” said Tufty. “The only reason our parents don’t want us playing here is because they’re jealous. They can’t stand us kittens having so much fun.”

  “He’s right,” said Meowz. “I mean, have you ever seen any zombies around here? The truth is they just cooked up that

  story to keep us closer to home. Easier to make us do chores that way.”

  Eeebs sighed. Maybe they were right. And anyway, the forest really was the best place to play in. There were so many mysteries just waiting to be discovered.

  “Fine,” he said. “How about we go play some hide-and-seek?” The other two patted him on the back.

  “Now you’re talking!”

  “Yeah! That’s the Eeebs I know!”

  But Eeebs had no idea how much this suggestion was going to affect him. He could have seen those dark rain clouds in the distance as a sign of things to come. Or the chilly breeze that blew through the meadow just then …

  He didn’t, though. Eeebs was just thinking about how fun this day was going to be. A day of playing and exploring. And misbehaving.

  The three kittens began their new game.

  “I think you should go first,” Tufty said.

  “Why me?” Eeebs asked.

  “Because this was your idea, silly.”

  Eeebs nodded. He didn’t mind. He liked being it way more than he liked hiding. And he knew the real reason why Tufty wanted to hide: he liked sitting around, doing nothing. He was a bit out of shape and already out of breath after all of that flower collecting.

  As Tufty lumbered off into the bushes, Meowz smirked at Eeebs.

  “I almost feel sorry for you,” she purred. “I know the ultimate hiding spot. You’re gonna be searching forever.”

  Eeebs flicked his tail. “I like a challenge.”

  A real challenge. He wasn’t going to be disappointed…

  He waited for Meowz to scamper off before starting to count.

  He reached twenty, called out, and began the hunt. Eeebs bounded through the hills, through the trees. He peeked in every crevice, every clump of tall grass. He raced up and down all the nearby valleys.

  But he never found them, not even Tufty, who was normally easy to find. Were they hiding together?

  Yes, Eeebs thought. Meowz must have felt sorry for him and taken him into her fantastic hiding spot.

  He searched and searched to no avail. Perhaps twenty minutes passed, then thirty. The first drop of rain hit Eeebs square on the nose. It started pouring soon after.

  Grandpa said it was just going to sprinkle, he thought. This is some sprinkle! At this rate, I’ll need a boat! What happened next sent a shiver down his spine. He walked through some tall ferns … and found himself standing at the edge of a mountainous biome.

  I’m . . .

  on the other side of the forest.

  He had never been this far away from home before. He was so focused on finding them that he hadn’t paid attention to his surroundings. He was lost.

  “Hey!” he called out. “I give up! Guys?”

  His thin voice was drowned out by the torrential rain. Even if his friends were nearby, they wouldn’t have been able to hear him. And they weren’t nearby. Eeebs was sure of that. They were smart. They never would have gone this far.

  I’m smart too, Eeebs thought. I’ll figure something out. I can just follow the edge of the forest. Yeah, as long as I stick to the edge, I’ll end up home on the other side. Right?

  He paused. But what about Tufty and Meowz? Are they looking for me right now? Or are they still waiting for me? I can’t just leave them. What should I do?

  The rain grew heavier. Eeebs began shivering. He decided to go back into the forest and look for them. It was the right thing to do. With a sinking feeling in his heart, he turned back to the mountains one last time. A flash of lightning suddenly lit up the gray expanse, revealing … wolves.

  They were moving slowly toward him. His heart sank even deeper. If he had seen them, they must’ve seen him, too. Then he heard a howl.

  His heart was no longer sinking. It was pounding wildly, jumping into his throat.

  So he started running. He ran fast, very fast. Eeebs had always been good at running, but he’d never run faster in his life. Trees blurred past. Blind panic set in. He had no idea where he was going and didn’t care, as long as it was away from those howls and snarls. Yet no matter how fast he went, the sounds stayed behind him.

&nbs
p; Wolves could run fast, too.

  Very fast.

  Eeebs dashed into a thicket. Cries echoed through the trees. He could hear the wolves snuffling, sniffing, searching for his scent. That was when he noticed a purple glow coming from farther in the thicket. He turned away and crept closer to the light.

  To a kitten like him, it looked like a screen of violet water …

  floating in the air … framed in black stone. For a moment, he forgot about the wolves completely. He didn’t understand what he was looking at. He had never seen anything like this before. Well, the humans made things that resembled it called … doors, but this was something different. Whatever it was, it was very old. It seemed as if the forest had grown up around the strange object.

  Was this the purple light his mother had warned him of? It didn’t seem that dangerous. The light glowed in a calm way. Gentle, even. For some reason, Eeebs felt he should approach it. It was almost as if the doorway was calling to him, inviting him to come closer.

  And why shouldn’t he? By now, those mangy mutts were just outside the thicket. Anything was better than facing them. And the light was so warm. Warmer than any sunlight. Warmer than the furnace he had slept on that time he snuck into a farmer’s house. As Eeebs drew closer, the heat washed over him, removing the rain’s damp chill.

  Then, three wolves burst through the undergrowth.

  They stopped upon noticing the light. Their snarls turned to whimpers, soft whines. After some hesitation, they began growling again, their red eyes fixed on Eeebs as they slunk slowly forward. He was an easy dinner, after all. Those wolves must’ve seen far worse than a violet glow.…

  Eeebs backed up, right next to the light. Heat waves blurred his vision. He felt the light behind him, pulling him closer. He thought about his friends. He hoped they’d make it back safely. He was sure they would. Meowz always knew how to find her way home.

  That was his last thought before

  diving into the screen of light.

  His vision became blurry, and suddenly he saw only darkness.

  Eeebs would never be a normal cat again. His days of climbing trees and swatting at butterflies were over. Stories would spread among the villages, stories of a strange kitten with blue fur and violet eyes.

  He hadn’t listened to his mom.

  He’d ventured into the Nether.

  Eeebs felt nothing for several seconds. Nothing except his pounding heart. Bit by bit, the darkness gave way to a deep red expanse. It was like an enormous cave. Eeebs couldn’t see the sky anymore, and everything was gloomy. Pillars of twisted stone surrounded him. He’d never seen anything like it. Far away, bright orange streams flowed down into a sea of the same color.

  He recognized this orange stuff. There was a pool of it in the plains not too far from his home. It was very hot, like liquid fire. On cold days, the kittens sometimes went near that pool to warm up. Of course, his mother had scolded him for hours after finding him there.

  That must be why it’s so warm here, Eeebs thought. He turned around, back to the violet screen. He had moved a great distance by crossing it. Even if he didn’t know how, he was certain of this. So that meant he could head back at any time. But those flea scratchers were probably still waiting for him. If he went back through now, they would tear him to shreds.

  No, he thought. I’ll stay for now. I’m safe here. I only need to wait for a while, and …

  Just then, a single wolf emerged from the portal. It was very close. Eeebs could smell its rotten breath and the musky scent of its damp fur. At first he only stared into the wolf’s red eyes, and it stared back. Neither of them moved. Total silence. Then its confusion wore off. Jagged fangs and a low growl shook the kitten into action.

  That action, of course, was bolting across the dark red stones.

  He must be really hungry, Eeebs thought as he jumped across a shallow chasm. Why follow me here? Why couldn’t he have just forgotten about me and gone after a rabbit? He zoomed around a column of glowing yellow rock. Rabbits taste better, don’t they?

  Eeebs’s path soon came to an end. He skidded to a halt on a vast ledge. On each side was a dizzying drop. He wasn’t afraid of heights, obviously. He was a cat. From countless days of tumbling and tussling in the forest, falling from the tallest trees, he could survive any drop. He always fell feetfirst, but landing on his feet in an ocean of lava wouldn’t do much good.… And that was all he could see down there.

  A fiery orange sea.

  The wolf scrambled onto the ledge and stopped, knowing it had cornered its prey. Eeebs backed up against the edge of the abyss. His future seemed grim. Burned? Or eaten? If he died now, though, he couldn’t explore this place. And it had to be explored! To a curious little fuzzball like him, it was the most fascinating place he had ever seen. Forget the forest. Forget the swamp and the ravine. This world would become their new playground. Still, he had to deal with this tail-chaser, first.…

  Suddenly, he remembered something that Tufty had taught him. When chasing prey, a wolf could get pretty careless. The hound surged forward, and Eeebs waited for the right moment. Then he dashed to the side with unnatural speed—even for a cat. The wolf’s fangs chomped down on thin air. That was also the only thing supporting it now: thin air. The wolf had leapt right off the cliff. It yelped and turned as it fell, disappearing over the edge. When Eeebs approached and looked down into the lava far below, there was nothing. Poor wolf, he thought. Sadness washed over him. He had only wanted to get away.…

  Which reminded him: How had he moved so fast?

  He realized he was trembling. His heart was beating furiously, and he was suddenly exhausted. Eeebs moved away from the edge and sank down onto the ground with a sigh. Only an hour ago, he was gathering flowers. And now …

  What rotten luck, he thought. This is the worst day of my life. An icy chill danced up and down his back. And it’s not over yet. I still have to find my way home.

  That portal would be easy to spot, of course, but it wasn’t in sight. Eeebs had run fast, for a long time, and lost his sense of direction. All of a sudden this new world seemed much, much larger and much more ominous. Despite the waves of heat, he couldn’t help but feel a little cold. He curled up into a little ball, pulled his paws in, and wrapped his tail around him.

  What should I do? I’m trapped in this gigantic cavern, and I have no idea where to go. But … I’m smart. Right? I’ll figure something out. Right?

  The kitten looked around with big, fearful eyes, eyes that shimmered like pools of deep green water.

  What will I do now … ?

  What will I do now?

  While Eeebs trembled in fear, he started to hear mysterious noises. They seemed far away. In the shadows.

  He could hear piglike grunts, horrible slithering noises, and something that almost sounded like crying. With each new sound, his eyes grew wider and wider. He shrank back against the side of a small cliff, his back arched.

  Whatever I do, thought Eeebs, I can’t panic anymore. I’ll only get more lost. I have to think back, retrace my steps. That’s my only way out.

  Suddenly, the crying seemed very close. He slowly turned his head, afraid of what he might see. That was when he noticed it: a kind of small white cloud, floating in the air. Floating directly toward him.

  No, it wasn’t a cloud. It had a … face! Whatever it was, it looked very sad. It really was crying. A few light blue tears were streaming down its cheeks.

  The ghostlike creature shrieked when it noticed the kitten. Eeebs sprang back, tail straight up and fur raised, as if electrified. “Leave me alone!” he hissed.

  The creature paused and gazed down at itself. “Do I really look so terrifying?” The creature sniffled. “I must. Even this poor little magma cube can’t stand the sight of a monster like me.”

  It started crying aga
in—fountains of sparkling blue tears, this time.

  “Magma cube?” Eeebs peered cautiously at the bizarre creature. “I’m a kitten.”

  “A … kitten?” Its closed eyes shifted with suspicion, ever so slightly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kitten before. You must have come from a nether fortress, yes?”

  “A forest, actually.”

  “I don’t quite understand.” Another sniffle. New tears formed in the corners of its eyes. “Oh, that’s why I don’t have any friends! I never understand anything about anything!”

  Eeebs stepped forward. His curiosity had taken hold. He had so many questions. Besides, it didn’t seem like this thing had any intention of eating him.

  “Why are you crying? It’s a little strange, isn’t it? I thought ghosts liked to scare people.”

  “Ghost?” The white being floated down to the kitten’s level. “I’m a ghast. And I’m not strange! Every ghast is sad about something. Some of us cry because there are no flowers here. Others, because it’s too hot …”

  “Well, why are you sad?”

  The ghast turned away. “Because I … I have no friends. My whole life, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  The puzzled kitten fixed his eyes on the ghast. Surely, this was the most interesting creature he had ever met. Why couldn’t he have found that portal sooner?

  “I’ll be your friend,” Eeebs said.

  “What? Oh … I get it. A joke, yes?”

  “Not at all,” Eeebs said. “To be honest, I don’t have any friends either. At least, not here …”

  The ghast turned back to face him. “Really? You mean it?”