Tales of an 8-Bit Kitten Read online

  “Of course! Why wouldn’t I? I’ll introduce you to my other friends back home, too.”

  The ghast spun around in midair. “How can this be? Am I dreaming?”

  “I doubt it,” said Eeebs, glancing again at this strange new world. “Dreams are never this crazy.”

  The ghast nodded. He even smiled.

  Although neither of them had any idea, this was a special moment. It was the first time in the history of Minecraftia that a ghast had experienced happiness. Their friendship would be documented in books and discussed by scholars and sages for generations to come.

  The ghast (whose name was Clyde) floated near a chunk of glowing yellow stone. “This is glowstone,” he said. “It lights up areas that don’t have any lava.”

  “Lava,” said Eeebs. “That’s the orange stuff, right?”

  “Correct.”

  For the past hour or two, the ghast had explained his world to Eeebs. A guided tour of the Nether. The kitten absorbed all of this information, from the zombie pigmen to the blazes that soared above their heads.

  “I wonder if I could bring some glowstone back home with me,” said Eeebs. “It’s pretty. I think my friend—”

  “Ornk-ornk.” A zombie pigman bumped into him with a grunt. Eeebs gasped and darted behind the ghast.

  “Don’t worry,” said Clyde. “He won’t hurt you, remember?”

  “Right.”

  The undead pigman stared at the strange companions before wandering away. Clyde went back to the tour. Of course, the kitten’s curiosity seemed infinite. Every time the ghast answered one of Eeebs’s questions, the kitten asked another.

  Why is there so much lava?

  Why are zombie pigmen zombies?

  Is there such a thing as a normal pigman?

  Only stuff like that. But those endless questions never annoyed Clyde. The kitten could have gone on forever, and he wouldn’t have cared. For the first time in his life, the ghast was helping someone. He was making a difference. He had a real friend.

  At some point, a chorus of grunts and shouts became audible. Far away, across the lava lake, an army of creatures had gathered: zombie pigmen, magma cubes, blazes, wither skeletons—even an enderman.

  “Wow!” said Eeebs. “I’ve never seen so many monsters before! What are they doing?”

  “Causing trouble,” said the ghast. “You see that tall one? The one with the purple eyes?”

  Eeebs nodded. “That’s an enderman, right? I’ve seen one before.”

  “Well, endermen never come here,” said the ghast. “Except for him. His name is EnderStar.”

  “So why is he here?”

  “From what I understand, he was exiled from his homeworld. Even the other endermen grew tired of his crazy ideas.”

  The kitten’s ears perked up. Wow. This is way better than playing hide-and-seek, he thought. An army of monsters! An enderman who got kicked out of his own world! What next?

  “Can we get closer?”

  Clyde paused. “I’m not so sure that would be such a good idea, Eeebs.”

  “Why not? Don’t you want to hear what they’re talking about?”

  “Well, all right. But don’t let them see you, okay? They won’t care about me, but if they notice you . . .”

  Eeebs nodded. “How about we hide on that ledge over there?”

  With that, the unlikely duo snuck closer, up a hill that overlooked the army. Eeebs peeked out from behind a single block of netherrack.

  Clyde floated nearby. The monsters below could no doubt see him, but none of them paid any attention. He was a monster, after all.

  Beyond that, everyone was too busy listening to EnderStar’s speech. All eyes were focused upon that enderman, who stood in the middle of the crowd.

  “We must take back what is rightfully ours!” he shouted, before pacing back and forth. He waved a fist in the air. “We will crush them all!”

  “Rarg!” A zombie pigman raised his golden sword. “Crush dem awl!”

  The other monsters joined in. The air erupted into an angry chant.

  “Crush dem arl!”

  “Crush dem awl!”

  “Crush dem ull!”

  The monsters fell silent when EnderStar waved a hand.

  “There’s a portal not too far from here,” he rumbled. “Our first attack will commence from there. This is a practice run, nothing more. Once you see how easily their town crumbles, you will understand the speed with which we can reclaim our world!”

  A huge wither skeleton stepped forward and cut the air with his massive sword. “Blah, blah, blah! Talk boring! When me get to chop things?”

  Another zombie pigman raised his head and screamed. “Urggrgagrrgr! Me want smash!”

  “Rargragr!” One of the blazes trembled with rage. “Gragragagzzzt!”

  EnderStar chuckled—a slow, smoldering sound that echoed across the Nether. “Yes!” he boomed. “That’s the spirit! Follow me, my brothers! Let us show them our might! Let them bow before us!”

  A chorus of shouts shattered the air. The army took off at once, slithering and staggering across the dark red ground. Their cries faded bit by bit.

  “I don’t understand,” said Eeebs. “What’s going on? They’re attacking? Attacking who?”

  Clyde looked away. “Well, um …”

  “Tell me!” Eeebs shouted. “I’m your friend, aren’t I?”

  “I … I’m afraid they’re on their way to your world.”

  No, Eeebs thought, blood freezing in his veins. No way. Why would those monsters want to live there? Don’t they like this place? Another frightening question spawned in a dark area of his mind.

  “Wait,” he said. “He mentioned a portal. Was he talking about the thing I came through?”

  “Most likely,” said Clyde.

  “So, they’re attacking a city nearby?”

  “A human city. Your kind will be safe.”

  “But what if they burn everything?” Eeebs suddenly felt weak. His head spun. He stumbled. “I have to get back! I have to warn them!”

  Clyde sighed. “It’s dangerous, Eeebs. Your mother would want you to be safe. You know that.”

  Eeebs leapt forward, his eyes filled with anger. “What if it was your family, huh? Would you just sit here? You want me to …”

  As his voice trailed off, Eeebs collapsed. He felt so weak, drained, helpless. His limbs were like jelly. What was happening to him?

  Clyde zoomed down. “Hey! Eeebs! What’s wrong?”

  “I … don’t know. It’s like I’m …”

  “Climb onto me,” said the ghast. “I know someone who might be able to help.”

  “I … can’t.”

  “If you want to help your family and friends, you will.”

  Eeebs took a deep breath. An image of his mother flashed through his mind. And Tufty. Meowz. All of them. With the last of his strength, he pushed himself up and climbed up onto the ghast.

  Seconds later,

  everything went black.

  She hovered over a brewing stand, deep in concentration. With one bottle of water and one nether wart, she created an Awkward Potion. Blub, blub, blub. The potion burbled to life on the stand. After adding a dollop of magma cream, she made a Potion of Fire Resistance.

  Of course, Eldra didn’t stop there. It would take only a pinch of redstone dust to increase the potion’s duration from three minutes to eight. She did just that, carefully measuring the amount. More bubbles and smoke this time—even a little flash of fire. But the extra effort was worth it.

  That will do nicely, she thought. Now I can go hunting for more blaze powder in the fortress nearby. Those silly blazes won’t lay a spark on me. Afterward, I could even take a lava bath. The witch giggled to herself. Just for fun.

 
Then she frowned. But I shouldn’t go without at least one Potion of Regeneration. Who knows what else I might run into?

  She opened up her ingredient chest and rummaged around. Spider eyes … pufferfish … blaze powder … no, this won’t do at all, she thought. Now, where did I put that ghast tear?

  Sometimes, when a ghast cries, one of its tears will harden and crystallize; this is an essential ingredient to make a Potion of Regeneration. Unfortunately, this is a rare event, so such tears are highly prized by witches like Eldra.

  And she was totally out.

  By some fabulous twist of fate, however, the answer to her problem arrived right at her iron door.

  Clang, clang!

  “Who is it?” the witch called out, still searching through her storage container.

  “Me. Who else?”

  Odd, she thought. Clyde sounds less drooping than usual.

  In her excitement, Eldra whirled around, zoomed over to the door, and peered through the window. Sure enough, it was him. Was that the hint of a smile on his face? He almost looked … happy. The witch blinked, as if she had just seen a flying cow.

  She hit the button to open the door then stepped outside. “You couldn’t have come at a better time,” she said. “I need to make a—”

  “Listen, I really need your help,” Clyde gushed.

  Eldra sighed. “Oh, how many times must we go over this, Clyde? Let’s stick to our original deal. After you’ve given me a thousand of your tears, I will be your friend. You only have eight hundred and eighty-eight tears to go! See? You’re almost there.”

  What the witch had done was indeed a little cruel. The ghast was so desperate to make a friend that he’d agreed one year ago to give Eldra one thousand of his crystalized tears. In return, she would officially be his friend. But not really. Not in her heart. How could she befriend a monster like that?

  On the other hand, was it really so bad to trick the ghast like this? It was nicer than killing him. Since their tears were so valued, ghasts were close to becoming an endangered species. So the witch wasn’t completely bad. Especially compared to the likes of EnderStar.

  “It’s not about that,” said Clyde. “It’s about my friend.”

  Eldra burst out laughing. “You?” She giggled again at the thought. “Have a friend?”

  “As unbelievable as it may seem, yes. And he’s … hurt. Or sick. I don’t know.”

  “Where is he?”

  The ghast touched down on the ground. “Right here.”

  The witch approached. She laughed again upon seeing the unconscious kitten resting on top of him.

  “I won’t even ask how you two met,” she said. “And what exactly is wrong with—”

  She froze. Her eyes grew wide all of a sudden. “It can’t be! This kitten … has the mark!”

  “Mark? What mark?”

  Eldra shook her head. “Oh, you foolish ghast! Why didn’t you bring him to me sooner? Hurry! Give him to me! There’s no time to waste!”

  She cradled the limp kitten in her arms then dashed inside her hut.

  Clyde floated over to the window and watched Eldra set the kitten down on her blue wool mattress. The witch performed a series of gestures over his motionless body.

  That was when he noticed Eeebs’s size. He had grown slightly—his claws, too. His fur now had a blue sheen. Was he changing? Why? Was that normal? Did kittens really grow so fast?

  “It must have something to do with his illness,” the ghast sighed. He felt so helpless. He could only float by the window while the witch performed her magic.

  Eeebs will be okay, he thought. She’ll know what to do. I don’t know what happened to my friend, but she’ll know what to do.

  Eeebs slowly opened his eyes.

  He was lying on a soft surface. He had slept on something like this a while ago: the farmer’s house. Eeebs liked houses. Real houses, anyway. There were so many comfortable things to sleep on in a real house. Stoves. Beds. Carpets. Much better than the hollowed-out log that served as his home.

  No, he was wrong. How could he think something like that? His home was a real house, too. He remembered the smell of salmon, a smell you’d never find in a house like the farmer’s—and suddenly, he thought of his mother, of his friends. His home.

  He had to get back. Had to warn them. Save them.

  Eeebs sprang up. He was in a stone hut made of … he couldn’t remember the word. He tried to recall what Clyde had taught him. Netherrock? Netherstone? No, quartz. Nether quartz. That was it. Where was Clyde, anyway?

  Just then, he heard a voice coming from somewhere outside. A woman’s voice.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m delighted to see you crying again,” the woman said. “What would I do without your tears? Only eight hundred and eighty-seven left, by the way.”

  “I just hope he’ll be okay.”

  The kitten’s ears perked up. Clyde?

  Eeebs leapt off the bed and through the window. The ghast was just outside, facing a strange woman he had never seen before. Both turned to face him.

  “No way!” said Clyde. “You’re already awake!”

  “Nearly.” Eeebs rubbed his face with his paws. “So … what happened?”

  “Something extraordinary,” said the witch.

  The kitten gave her a confused look. “And who are you?”

  “This is Eldra,” said Clyde. “She’s a witch. She’s the only one I could think of who could help you. And she did.”

  “Honestly, I didn’t do much,” she said. “All it took was a bit of milk, that’s all.”

  “I don’t understand,” said Eeebs. “Will someone just tell me what’s going on?”

  Eldra nodded. “You’ve been … chosen.”

  “Chosen? By who?”

  “The Nether.”

  Clyde floated closer. “The Nether found you, Eeebs. It called you! Your arrival here was no accident.”

  What? That just doesn’t make sense, thought the kitten. Am I dreaming?

  He shook his head. “What would this world want from a kitten like me?”

  “Purity,” said the witch. “Innocence. Courage. Love. You must understand that the Nether isn’t an evil place. It’s filled with darkness, but it isn’t evil. However, many of its denizens are. The Nether needed a champion, and when it couldn’t find one here, well … it looked elsewhere. It found you.”

  Eeebs staggered. It felt like his body was … different. Well, maybe he was just drowsy—still a little weak. He ignored these thoughts.

  “A champion for what?”

  But as he asked this, Eeebs realized that this was the one question he could already answer himself.

  “EnderStar wants to rule the Overworld,” said Clyde. “He’s terrible!”

  “And if that happens,” Eldra continued, “the Nether will be in a great deal of trouble. The End, too. You see, EnderStar won’t stop until he gains control of all three worlds.”

  “I think I get it.” Eeebs paused. Was he getting smarter? He normally wouldn’t have been able to grasp this kind of stuff. “The Nether wants to stop him before he gets too powerful, right?”

  The witch smiled. “Exactly.”

  “But … even if I want to help,” said Eeebs, “what can I do? I’m just a kitten.”

  As Eeebs said this, Clyde got that look again. It was the “I don’t want my friend to freak out, so I’m not going to say anything” look.

  Eldra wasn’t as considerate. She smirked, looking him up and down. “Not anymore.”

  Eeebs followed her gaze.

  His black fur had a vibrant blue sheen. His claws were a bit larger, thick and black. And sharp. He was also bigger and stronger—nearly as big as an adult ocelot.

  Eeebs held out his paws, examining them, moving each digit. Th
ey were almost like human hands. “What … happened to me … ?”

  “It’s not like it’s a bad change,” said Clyde defensively. “I mean, think of it this way: At least you’ll never have to worry about wolves again.”

  The witch placed a hand upon his shoulder. “The Nether changed you. Strengthened you. And granted you … powers, you could say. Once you learn to control them, the minions of EnderStar will fall before you like turnips during a harvest.”

  The ghast managed a slight grin. “I think ‘nether kitten’ has a nice ring to it, don’t you?”

  Eeebs stared down in horror. His mind spun and spun. It was just too much for him. What would his mother think? His friends?

  He would be an outcast.

  He would become an exile …

  just like EnderStar.

  Again, Eeebs thought of home. His vision blurred as tears filled his eyes. He wiped them away with a clawed paw and nodded at his two friends. “Thank you, Clyde. Thank you, Eldra.”

  Then, he took off. The Nether’s dull red terrain streaked past him.

  “Wait!” Clyde called out. “Eeebs! There’s still a lot you need to know!” Eeebs ignored his friend’s cries. He had wasted enough time.

  A crazy nightmare, he thought, leaping over a narrow lava stream. A hallucination brought on by too much stress. Or, maybe this is really happening; maybe the Nether really did turn me into some kind of weird monster. He tore across a ruddy stone plain.

  It must have, because he could sense the portal’s location across all that twisted stone. He pounced up from ledge to ledge and raced through every plateau, until the glowing violet door was directly in sight.

  He didn’t know much about the Nether, what it was capable of, or what kind of magic it had placed upon him.

  Was it a curse? A miracle?

  Right now, there was only one thing he knew for sure. He was now a pawn in a deadly game … and he had no choice but to “play.”